Pettiness

Shadows danced across the skylight to cast streaks of darkness across the displays below. The Gallery was built to exhibit artifacts of a curious and otherworldly nature, housed and curated by local nobility. A hinge creaked into the unoccupied hall as it berthed two individuals into the room from above. The male stood and looked around curiously, eying the relics with interest, while the female seemed irritated with being there at all.

"Why are we in a Museum? I’m curious and I love variant history as much as the next, but…"

He snooped a nearby panel, squinting to make out the fine details.

"One of the objects here shows him directly. I want to deface it."

She rolled her eyes.

"I should have figured as much. What will this achieve?"

He shrugged at her, unsure himself.

"Ridicule. Loss of respect should he show again. Personal satisfaction."

He began to creep along the cases, the woman blithely looking at the items as they passed while he actively read the labels, as well as any visible text.

"We're definitely in the right wing. These are labeled 'Potential Contacts', even if some of them are self-identified as fiction. Not many, just this one here," he gestured to a scroll mounted on a rack,"- and the statue over there, which I think is a theatre prop."

"Never one to waste your translational talents."

"Don't hate it 'cause you lack it."

"I could get an enchantment for that too if I wanted. No need though, with you around."

She flashed him a toothy smile, fangs glittering in the moonlight. He ignored her and kept on, leading them into a rotunda focusing on a massive bas-relief along the far wall, an Elder Dragon standing tall over many subjects, all bowing to his radiance atop a ziggurat of words. The male reached out to place a hand on it, reading a selection for his companion.

"As he demonstrated the sublime skill of subjugation, the great dragon taught us the value in servitude and silence."

The woman raised an eyebrow and looked at the armored serpent, thoroughly unimpressed.

"Sounds like a dick."

"Not gonna argue that. Can you give me a hand here? Maybe raise me up to about his shoulder level?"

She was visibly unimpressed.

"…you're a planeswalker. Can't you levitate yourself?"

He frowned heavily to her.

"I am terrible at flight and levitation is a basis of that. I need to focus on the engraving to ensure it is legible to all who read it, and if I need to focus on keeping myself aloft, it'll look…well, still legible, but intoxicated."

"…and?"

He glared at her for a moment, mumbling a mantra under his breath as he slowly rose to the desired height, wobbling for a second as he reached out with two fingers to mark the slab. A few minutes of work and he dropped to the floor, torn between a smile and irritation. His companion kept her eyebrow high, unsure of what she was seeing.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. And I know it looks like a child did it, but at least it's readable."

"Are you sure that's what you want it to say?"

"I never said I was mature about my dealings."

=][=

As the Duke led his guests through the halls, he explained the varying items in his collection.

"Here we have a statue of another one of these 'World-walkers', presumably related to the sculptor after the fact. I have it in here because of its resemblance to some of the imagery in my tome."

The gathered nobility tittered among themselves, impressed by their comrade's achievements. He turned to face them, walking backwards to lead them into the rotunda as he explained the jewel of his collection.

"And in this room, I keep the most significant piece I have regarding my theory. A depiction not only of one of the World-Walkers themselves, but documented interaction with them. I have reason to believe that the great Dragon Ol'as did, in fact, exist-"

"…and he liked rear ends?"

The Duke stopped and blinked. Chuckling began to spread from guest to guest, until he finally turned and saw what the fuss was all about.

A cartoonish bubble had been etched into the stone beside the Dragon's head, infantile writing fuzzy but blatantly intelligible beside it. There was no mistaking what it said.

'I sniff butts'